corporate grinds you down
Perhaps it's how I'm currently feeling at the minute, but I've been in corporate employment for just over 9 years and in that time I've worked myself from the entry level position of my department to becoming the head of department.
I've been in the role of head of department since January and in that time, I've had some highs and some lows, but the longer I've gone on and the more the business has changed and the decision they're making, I'm feeling more and more ground down.
I'm not naive enough to think that the corporate world isn't cold, but I did (do?) hold some hope that relationships are important and yet I'm consistently being shown that if it doesn't benefit in a monetary fashion, it isn't worth the effort.
I've never been as close to handing my notice in as I am today. I don't even have a back-up plan, I confess that I'm incredibly worried about it, I do have a long(ish) notice period, so I'd at least get paid for a little while, but it's still a concern.
I don't expect it to be all rainbows and butterflies but I'm wondering if this corporate life of money, money, money and trying to decide what to cut next so we can get the most amount of work for the least amount of resource is for me.
I do still have dreams of building something of my own, but even with that, I have no idea what to do or where to start, whether that's because of the 'comfort' of full-time employment or because the role I'm in has crushed me down enough to not value what I'm able to offer, I'm not sure.
I think I will use the weekend to decompress a little and decide what I want to do and where I want to go, but my gut is telling me that this corporate life isn't for me and that's both encouraging and scary.
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