not where you want to be
My partner pointed out to me today that my mental health has clearly been suffering since I got promoted back in January. Not because of the stress of the actual job, but because it's highlighted all sorts of other problems.
I'm good at my job, I like the people and I'm paid (fairly) well.
I genuinely feel guilty that despite those things, I'm still miserable. I know I shouldn't compare with other people, but having known people who've been through redundancy this year, I feel incredibly insensitive.
I'm a head of department and I got there before the age of 40, I'm pleased with that. I never made a secret of the fact I wanted to progress within my role when I started (some 9 years ago now).
But, therein lies the problem. I've achieved as much as I'm going to achieve where I am, there's no challenge to it anymore and it's in a business that is forever moving away from the services that me and my department provide, which means we're on borrowed time as it were.
The obvious answer is of course to get another job, but aside from looking at the state of the job market in 2026, I also have no idea what I want to do anymore. When I started, I was quite keen on the creative side (it had some aspects of Graphic Design), I fell out of love with that several years back.
Alternatively I could look at going into an operations role, but not only are these incredibly competitive, but a vast majority require qualifications (usually in the form of Prince2).
My final option is to do something freelance or build something of my own. This is the one I'd both excited and terrified by.
I have succeeded for the last 9+ years and I'm comfortable, why on earth would I want to risk failure? Would I love to be able to have something that is truly 'mine' and I don't have to report to anyone (or deal with staff)? Absolutely. Would I feel like a complete failure if it didn't work? Absolutely.
This also means I'd have to work out exactly what I'd build.
This may well be the best time to figure this out, I still have a steady pay check for now and it's not like I'm challenged within my 9-5.
I suppose I could look at my someday page? There's art and writing on there?
Perhaps that's where I really want to be?
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